New
#31
All time classic.
My wife went to the West Indies
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own free will.
Joke Thread
-
-
New #32
A woodcutter was cutting down trees when he came upon a particular tree. "Stop! I'm a talking tree!" The woodcutter responded, "and soon you'll dialog!"
-
New #33
Horse walks into a bar and the bartender said, "why the long face?"
-
New #34
Did you hear about the new social media merger? MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter will all merge to form one big happy company called Myfaceyoutwit.
-
New #35
Three old guys were attending a funeral.
When the eulogy was given, one of them said "That was a good eulogy, I wonder what they will say at mine? I hope they say something like I was a good man who helped others."
The second guy said "I hope they say that I was a good father, a loving husband and a nice person."
The third guy said "I hope they say something like "Hey look, he's breathing.""
-
New #36
Three University Professors are having a snifter of vintage port when they get the bad news that the Professor of History has died. They all go to the Chapel Of Rest where the History Professor lies in an open coffin for visitors to say their final goodbye.
The Professor of Language is overcome with emotion and says "He was a great guy - I owed him £50. I must pay him back" and then takes out £50 from his wallet and places it in the coffin.
The Professor of Geography is also overcome with emotion and says "He was a great guy - I also owed him £50. I must pay him back" and then takes out £50 from his wallet and places it in the coffin.
Finally, the Professor of Logic is also overcome with emotion and says "He was a great guy - I also owed him £50. I must pay him back". He then writes out a cheque for £150, puts it in the coffin, taking out the other £100 as change.
-
New #37
The man is driving on the highway when he receives a call from his wife.
Wife: Be careful honey, they just said in the news that a maniac drives on the wrong way at the highway!
Husband: Not only one, honey! There are dozens of them driving the wrong way!
PS: Looks like an Englishman in New York. Come on, admit it! Most of the world drives at the right side, but in UK and Commonwealth you drive at the left side.
-
-
-
-
New #40
some so called expert once said the only other country that drives on left is Sweden. Actually Cyprus drives on the left. And I have done that loads of times. There are a few others too, but my mind i blank (not unusual). However, when I was station in Germany in the British Army, in a left hand drive car, it felt more natural. Except I am left handed and changing gear with my right was weird!!
Quote
Related Discussions
