Joke Thread

3nd said:

some good ol chuck norris facts ...


When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out

When Alexander Graham invented the telephone, he found 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has a Bear Skin Rug in his house. It's not dead, the bear is just too scared to move.

It's no coincidence that the tattoo on Mike Tyson's face is the same pattern as Chuck Norris's bootprint.

When Chuck Norris speaks, deaf people listen..

Chuck Norris told his crush that she loves him.

Some people have one testicle larger then the other, but chuck norris testickles are both bigger then the other

I tried to set my password as Chuck Norris but it got rejected because it was too strong

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

They had to rename a street named aft Chuck Norris, because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

When Chuck Norris reads a book, the book learns

Death once had a near chuck experience

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade it killed 10 people then the grenade exploded

News: Yesterday Chuck Norris passed away.
News: Today Chuck Norris feels much better

Chuck Norris was bit by a king cobra, after three days of excruciating pain the cobra died

Chuck Norris was pulled over once. He let the officer off with a warning.

Chuck Norris doesn’t make wrong calls, you answered the wrong phone

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

I once asked Chuck Norris how many pull-ups he could do. He answered, "All of them."

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck Norris can count to infinity ...twice

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a Unicycle.

Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back

Who is Chuck Norris?

F22 Simpilot said:

The guy who invented the Union Jack...

So was he a sailor?

cereberus said:

So was he a sailor?

Chuck Norris was the star of a lot of action shows in the 70's/80's, a few movies, the TV series Walker, Texas Ranger, a martial artist, pegged as the "ultimate tough guy" with a lot of memes using him in reference.

I think he had his own work out series on VHS in the 80's.

A biker walks into a bar & starts harassing people, messing with them & being a general nuisance.

He spots this lone guy sitting at the end of the bar, walks up to him, grabs his beer, drinks it down, slams the mug down on the bar & then laughs at him.

The guy looks at the empty beer mug & bursts into tears.

The biker is taken aback by this reaction. "Oh c'mon man, don't be such a wimp. It's only a freakin beer."

The guy sobbing, looks at him & says:

"You don't understand. I got fired from my job of 20 years yesterday, I came home early & caught my Wife in bed with another man. My car got hit by another car this morning, it's totaled. And now I was sitting here, working up the courage to end it all, you come along & drink the last of the poison I had in the beer."

Borg 386 said:

Chuck Norris was the star of a lot of action shows in the 70's/80's, a few movies, the TV series Walker, Texas Ranger, a martial artist, pegged as the "ultimate tough guy" with a lot of memes using him in reference.

I think he had his own work out series on VHS in the 80's.

This is the joke thread, as were my replies LOL!

cereberus said:

This is the joke thread, as were my replies LOL!

OK, gotcha. Wasn't sure if he was known of over in the UK or not.

Borg 386 said:

OK, gotcha. Wasn't sure if he was known of over in the UK or not.

Yeah known here but not on main UK to air channels, so not as popular.