The Joke thread

once a brand new 4 seater plane has one pilot and 3 passengers one politician, son and father

shortly after take off, the pilot announced that plane has developed a fault and its going to crash. the pilot said we are 4 people and there are only 3 parachutes. the pilot also said that radio link to ground is not working, and if he didnt inform the plane maker about the fault, more planes will crash and more people will die in future, so if everybody agrees i (pilot) will need to use one parachute. everybody agrees that pilot should use one parachute

so the pilot takes a parachute and jumps from the plane

after that politician stands up and says our country has this and this problem and i have such and such solution for these problems, so my country needs me. the politician takes one parachute in haste with out father/son agreement and jumps from the plane.

as soon as politician jumps from the plane, the son starts laughing, father said in angry voice why are you laughing when there is one parachute for two of us. the son replies that politician took my school bag by mistake instead of parachute

once a head of russian nuclear project became mad (mentally ill) before he could invent atom bomb for russia. the russian govt invited doctors from all the over world to cure the scientist, but no doctor could cure him.

a villager came to russian govt and said if i cure the scientist what will be my reward. the russian govt said whatever you wish we will grant your wish.

the villager said you have to pay me ten thousand US dollars per day, green card for me and my whole family, the most expensive property in america in my name. the russian govt said we will grant all this and much more if you can cure the scientist.

so the villager started playing chess with the scientist all day and after a month the scientist became normal but the villager became mad (mentally ill). the russian govt again invited doctors from all over the world to cure the villager but no doctor in the world could cure villager.

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a man used to joke about his unborn baby, that baby weighs more than the mother

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i have 3 kids and one wife, i wish it was other way around that is 3 wives and one kid

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once a man tells the wife on her birthday do u see that red color mercedes, she said happily yes yes yes,

husband says that i bought same red color lipstick for yoi

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once a man gives jewelry on her wife birthday

the son says to father that you said that i will give brand new jeep to mother on her birthday

the man replies from where can i get fake jeep

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once a man business ran into losses

his wife said to him that why dont you sell my diamond ring to cover the losses and when conditions improve buy back the ring

the man starts to cry

wife says why are you crying

the man replies the ring is fake

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once a ship was sinking in the sea

one man stops another and ask him what about women and children

the 2nd person replies &*^$ them

the 1st person do you think we have time for that

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a man asks other do you play any games

the 2nd person replies yes PS4 all the time