The Joke thread

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  1. Posts : 305
    Windows 10

    Tech joke

    Why doesn't Barry Allen use a Mac?

    Because Apple doesn't support Flash.
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  2. Posts : 225
    Win10 10.0.18362 Build 18362

    politician joke

    once a brand new 4 seater plane has one pilot and 3 passengers one politician, son and father

    shortly after take off, the pilot announced that plane has developed a fault and its going to crash. the pilot said we are 4 people and there are only 3 parachutes. the pilot also said that radio link to ground is not working, and if he didnt inform the plane maker about the fault, more planes will crash and more people will die in future, so if everybody agrees i (pilot) will need to use one parachute. everybody agrees that pilot should use one parachute

    so the pilot takes a parachute and jumps from the plane

    after that politician stands up and says our country has this and this problem and i have such and such solution for these problems, so my country needs me. the politician takes one parachute in haste with out father/son agreement and jumps from the plane.

    as soon as politician jumps from the plane, the son starts laughing, father said in angry voice why are you laughing when there is one parachute for two of us. the son replies that politician took my school bag by mistake instead of parachute
    Last edited by makhan10; 19 Feb 2020 at 20:53.
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  3. Posts : 225
    Win10 10.0.18362 Build 18362

    genius kid

    once a kid was very naughty, so his teacher gave him assignment to keep him busy that add all the numbers from 1 to 100.

    after sometime, teacher saw the kid was playing with his friends and not doing the assignment

    teacher called the child and said to him i gave you assignment and you are playing

    the child replied that i have done the assignment, the teacher said angrily that how can you add all the numbers from 1 to 100 in such a short time.

    child said, i added 1+100 = 101, 2 + 99 = 101, 3 + 98 = 101 and 50 + 51 = 101

    so there are 50 pairs of 101 and if you multiply 50 * 101 = 5050
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  4. Posts : 225
    Win10 10.0.18362 Build 18362

    nuclear scientist joke

    once a head of russian nuclear project became mad (mentally ill) before he could invent atom bomb for russia. the russian govt invited doctors from all the over world to cure the scientist, but no doctor could cure him.

    a villager came to russian govt and said if i cure the scientist what will be my reward. the russian govt said whatever you wish we will grant your wish.

    the villager said you have to pay me ten thousand US dollars per day, green card for me and my whole family, the most expensive property in america in my name. the russian govt said we will grant all this and much more if you can cure the scientist.

    so the villager started playing chess with the scientist all day and after a month the scientist became normal but the villager became mad (mentally ill). the russian govt again invited doctors from all over the world to cure the villager but no doctor in the world could cure villager.

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    a man used to joke about his unborn baby, that baby weighs more than the mother

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    i have 3 kids and one wife, i wish it was other way around that is 3 wives and one kid

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    once a man tells the wife on her birthday do u see that red color mercedes, she said happily yes yes yes,

    husband says that i bought same red color lipstick for yoi

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    once a man gives jewelry on her wife birthday

    the son says to father that you said that i will give brand new jeep to mother on her birthday

    the man replies from where can i get fake jeep

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    once a man business ran into losses

    his wife said to him that why dont you sell my diamond ring to cover the losses and when conditions improve buy back the ring

    the man starts to cry

    wife says why are you crying

    the man replies the ring is fake

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    once a ship was sinking in the sea

    one man stops another and ask him what about women and children

    the 2nd person replies &*^$ them

    the 1st person do you think we have time for that

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    a man asks other do you play any games

    the 2nd person replies yes PS4 all the time
    Last edited by makhan10; 24 Feb 2020 at 21:31.
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