Funny Picture Thread [11]

A Guy

Paraprosdokians

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you... but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak

4 If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up - we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify... I answered "a doctor”.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me. Sadly this is true!

Ztruker said:

Paraprosdokians

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)


7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Does that mean Ketchup is actually a tomato smootie?

Cliff S said:

Does that mean Ketchup is actually a tomato smootie?

18. it's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.

Ztruker said:

Paraprosdokians

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you... but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak

4 If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up - we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify... I answered "a doctor”.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice[/INDENT]13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me. Sadly this is true!

I have to figure out how make that into a picture/image so it's legal here.

Ztruker said:

I have to figure out how make that into a picture/image so it's legal here.

Your Paraprosdokians quotes?